The life-changing advice I learned from Oprah

Today I wanted to share some wisdom I learned from Oprah many years ago.

For so many women of my generation, Oprah was the first person to encourage us to take care of ourselves and our needs, as well as the needs of those around us. She challenged the deeply ingrained idea that focusing on your own needs and desires is selfish. Oprah taught me that not only is self-care not selfish, it's necessary if we want to be able to show up fully for others. 

She is the first person who told women it was ok to say the word “No”. This lesson has been a journey for me as a Southern woman, as a woman of my generation, as a daughter and a mother. Incorporating time for yourself and pursuing your own interests was seen as taking away from your responsibilities to others. When we take time for ourselves, it is easy to feel or worry that those we love will feel like we have abandoned them.

The unspoken rule is the more selfless you are, the better a woman you are, but in truth, this leads to losing your sense of self altogether. Saying “No”, and setting boundaries can feel impossible. This is so ingrained in us as women that it feels like we are going against our very instincts, even though we know rationally that it is imperative for our health & well-being. 

Today I’m trying to concentrate on my own well-being, as well as the well-being of those around me. I’m also trying to let go of the feeling that I need to control everything (this is a hard one!). I know I’m not alone, because I have heard from women of all ages that this is an ongoing struggle, and that we have to constantly work on “unlearning”. 

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Can you relate?

Another lesson from Oprah that took me years to understand is that, "You are responsible for your life. And If you're sitting around waiting on somebody to save you, to fix you, help you, you are wasting your time, because only you have the power to take responsibility to move your life forward." 

This doesn’t mean that you are completely alone. I have friends and family that love and support me, and my faith supports me as well, but ultimately it had to be me that physically took that first step to get through the difficult times in my life. How many times have you said to yourself, “I’ll give it six months”, finding yourself six months later in the exact same situation or an even worse one. As the saying goes, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” 

You must be your own advocate in all areas of your life. If you are at a crossroads, or in a difficult place in your life, you can and will get through it! What is holding you back? Are you waiting for permission, or thinking that you do not have enough time, or worrying about how you will inconvenience someone else by pursuing your goals? 

Taking control of my own life took courage, it can be absolutely terrifying, but one thing I have learned is that the first step is definitely the hardest, and also that just because someone, or even more than one person doesn’t agree with you about your plans or dreams, they aren’t living your life, are they? 

You cannot live your life solely to please others, or to avoid hurting someone, or to stifle yourself rather than inconvenience others, or because of worrying what others will think, because if you do that, your spirit will eventually disappear, it will suffocate you.

Have you had experiences similar to mine? Are you desperate to make a change, but don’t know how in the world to take that first step? Have you courageously taken the leap and are on the other side now? 

If the next step on your path is falling in love with your personal style, we've got you. Keep an eye out for information about our upcoming digital Body Type and Color courses. I want to encourage you to spend some time thinking about yourself. Consider your goals and the way you show up in the world. 

I would love for you to enter our drawing for a complimentary 1-on-1 style session with Delia and me! It just takes 2 minutes and you could win the chance to learn how to dress as your most confident, beautiful self. 

Fill out the quick form here.

Here's to choosing ourselves and our dreams,

Alison